nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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