shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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