When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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