What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
