I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
