is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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