You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
