i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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