So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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