Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
