yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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