time to smoke my breakfast
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
