Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
