Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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