Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You need Xanax blowdarts
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize