yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize
