Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
