It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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