I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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