I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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