The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
