I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
