The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
