I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
