I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
