Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
