i just wanna soil my oats bro
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
why do cheetos always look like penises
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
