I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You dont lie about slip and slides
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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