never play flip cup with pint glasses
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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