OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
