someone threw a dead crab at me
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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