i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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