I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
