I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
