I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
