I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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