hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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