halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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