I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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