Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
