my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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