i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
