I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
