Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
