I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
