i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
