Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
