i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
