I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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