I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
