So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
