you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
