Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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