oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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