she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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