Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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