Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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