that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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