pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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