Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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