After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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