Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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