Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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